I have a cold. I will die soon.

There's no getting around it. My son, the World's Largest Eight Year Old, has infected me with a virulent form of the rhinovirus, which may or may not be a combination of the following diseases: The Bubonic Plague Cooties Ebola A Random Tropical Fever Boogers. These have combined for the…

Virginia. So Much More Than Ham.

I'll be in one of my favorite cities next week, Roanoke, Virginia. I'm speaking at the Roanoke Regional Writer's Conference. It's on the beautiful campus of Hollins University. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating: Virginia is incredible. It's just so¬†American, and Roanoke is a shining example of a…

I made Taylor Swift cry.

In a good way, and in a dream. I'll explain. Last night I dreamed she read one of my books (Heartborn), posted a video of herself crying about how it made her feel, and several things happened: The book became a sensation. It was made into a show on the…

St. Olaf and the Golden Girls

I may have mentioned I married a Norwegian Lutheran, who comes from a family filled with other Norwegian Lutherans. Upon meeting my mother-in-law to be, she mentioned that she graduated from St. Olaf with a degree in home Economics. Until that moment, I thought St. Olaf was a creation within…

Waking Up Kids.

There are three species of animals in this house. Cats. Dogs. A manchild. He's eight. He's five feet tall and weighs one hundred pounds. I am, at various times, tasked with waking/relocating these beasts as demanded. Cats are the easist; I make cooing noises in my ridiculous pet voice, they…

Getting Older.

As we roll into 2017, I'm one year closer to being fifty. I can't believe it. Regardless, due too eating to much between the hours of 1-3AM, which is apparently when I MUST HAVE CAKE, I started running last year. I love it. But, I only like running outside, and…