How To Waste Time

10:12 AM Bride asks, "Can you pick up fried rice for my lunch? They don't open until 11. Can you find something to do until then?" Me: "Have we met?" What transpires next is as follows: Gas station. One conversation, fill up, move on. 12 minutes. Ace Hardware. Furnace filter.…

Free Chocolate

Dark chocolate. Shaped like a star. From Roanoke. It's MINE. ALL MINE. I spoke at the Roanoke Regional Writer's Conference (say that fast, dare ya) and Liz Long rewarded me with dark chocolate. This is not a drill. It's fancy. I have an online release party tonight for an anthology…

I love you.

I am forty-eight, and I have achieved a kind of balance where I can now tell my friends I love them. It's liberating and invigorating and a lot of other action verbs (gerunds, I think) and I've waited my entire life for the satisfaction of having friends-- some who have…

Life Without Cookies

Or cake. Or pie. Or waffles, milk, flour, cheese, and joy, yes, there will be no joy, not in this house. Bride is doing a really interesting thing known as the Whole Life Challenge. It's kind of cool-- focusing on better food, plenty of sleep ( a must!), stretching, meditation,…

I have a cold. I will die soon.

There's no getting around it. My son, the World's Largest Eight Year Old, has infected me with a virulent form of the rhinovirus, which may or may not be a combination of the following diseases: The Bubonic Plague Cooties Ebola A Random Tropical Fever Boogers. These have combined for the…

Virginia. So Much More Than Ham.

I'll be in one of my favorite cities next week, Roanoke, Virginia. I'm speaking at the Roanoke Regional Writer's Conference. It's on the beautiful campus of Hollins University. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating: Virginia is incredible. It's just so¬†American, and Roanoke is a shining example of a…

I made Taylor Swift cry.

In a good way, and in a dream. I'll explain. Last night I dreamed she read one of my books (Heartborn), posted a video of herself crying about how it made her feel, and several things happened: The book became a sensation. It was made into a show on the…