Interviewing the Succubus: Delphine Style
*As interviewed by local reporter J. Burton (His questions are in regular type)
Miss Delphine, thank you for speaking with us today.
It’s my pleasure. I appreciate your asking in such a proper fashion. Manners are so scarce.
Thank you, as well. And the cake is a nice surprise. The wine, too.
(Laughs) Well, if one cannot bring baked goods or wine, then a smile will have to do. I bring all three.
According to your—er, boyfriend, Ring Hardigan—
–He’s not my boyfriend.
He’s not? But you are in a relationship?
Yes. But as I am older than Jesus Christ, I find the notion of a boyfriend to be rather childish. We’re two adults in a—well, it is complex, but relationship will have to do for now.
You are. . . more than two thousand years old?
(Frowns). Two thousand, three hundred and forty or so, but it’ rather rude to ask a lady her age or weight.
My apologies. You were saying?
Ring and I are connected, yes, and to clarify, I am immortal, and Ring hunts immortals. His partners, Risa and Waleska, assist him in this pursuit. He is—pardon me, they are—I must give credit where it’s due—quite skilled at removing Undying from the earth. The three partners are utterly without fear, capable of holding a grudge that makes me seem mild in comparison, and oddly compassionate. I confess, they frighten me somewhat, even though I am rather skilled in my own right.
Skilled as an immortal?
Could you elaborate?
I prefer not to, unless you’ve a need for a demonstration?
Ummm. Would this demonstration hurt?
(Laughs) Sweetheart, nothing I do to man hurts. Unless he wants it to.
Well, let’s just continue with the interview for now, please.
Very well. But I haven’t had. . . lunch, yet. If you’d care to get better acquainted. I do enjoy a man with a thirst for knowledge.
So, Miss Delphine, could you describe your career to us?
Certainly. Where to begin? I was born nearly twenty-four hundred years ago off the coast of Scotland. After raiders put my home to the torch, I was saved—cursed, really, by a woman who aspired to be the queen of Hell. After centuries of strife and wandering, I finally settled in New Orleans, some two centuries ago.
The Queen of Hell?
Yes, Elizabeth really did think highly of herself.
Elizabeth? And where is she now?
(Laughs). Honey, Ring Hardigan sent her to meet her maker. It did not go well for her, I might add.
He killed her?
In a sense, yes. He’s killed dozens of immortals. As I said, he’s very good at it.
And yet he has not killed you? Why, may I ask?
(Pause) Because I am reborn. I have begun the long path to make amends for my sins. And I am very, very good in bed.
(Laughs) But aren’t you a succubus who kills men for money? Wouldn’t he die from— being with you?
Oh, child. Ring, and Waleska and Risa? They’re becoming immortals as well. And Ring knows that every erotic moment with me only makes him stronger, and more capable of killing that which he is changing into. Plus, let us not forget that I have never killed men for money.
No, sweetheart. (Laughs) I only kill for the kisses.