I Have Two Hair Stages.
Acceptable, and unacceptable. There is no middle ground.
I like to keep my business in order. This stems from years as a victim of 80s Hair Syndrome. For women, it involved aquanet. Cans and cans of aquanet.
I am a dude. Ergo, I gel.
Tomorrow. Haircut day.
I have two basic looks as well, based on the length of my hair and the time of day. When my hair is long(er), or as my wife calls it, “normal”, then I look a lot like someone who might be a news anchor at a small station you’ve never heard of. Here is an example of said hair in 1986:
Problems. Time of Day. And Problems.
If I am unable to get a haircut every three weeks, then we have a problem. When I wake up in the morning, I have a distinct look that my wife calls Handsome But Homeless. Here is what you might expect during the hour of 5-6 AM.
As you can see, it’s in everyone’s interest that I maintain a sleek look, about the same length as that of a beagle’s coat.
Thanks for your time. Now let’s mousse up. Or gel up. Whatever.