Send Egg Recipes.

I'm on a super complicated diet this Spring. It's mostly eggs, hot sauce, and eggs. Regardless, I'm asking the internet and my bookfriends if you have any recipes pertaining to the following food items: Eggs. Veggies, preferably a huge amount. I'm also doing a LOT of pushups, so anything that…

How To Waste Time

10:12 AM Bride asks, "Can you pick up fried rice for my lunch? They don't open until 11. Can you find something to do until then?" Me: "Have we met?" What transpires next is as follows: Gas station. One conversation, fill up, move on. 12 minutes. Ace Hardware. Furnace filter.…

I love you.

I am forty-eight, and I have achieved a kind of balance where I can now tell my friends I love them. It's liberating and invigorating and a lot of other action verbs (gerunds, I think) and I've waited my entire life for the satisfaction of having friends-- some who have…

I made Taylor Swift cry.

In a good way, and in a dream. I'll explain. Last night I dreamed she read one of my books (Heartborn), posted a video of herself crying about how it made her feel, and several things happened: The book became a sensation. It was made into a show on the…

Waking Up Kids.

There are three species of animals in this house. Cats. Dogs. A manchild. He's eight. He's five feet tall and weighs one hundred pounds. I am, at various times, tasked with waking/relocating these beasts as demanded. Cats are the easist; I make cooing noises in my ridiculous pet voice, they…

Getting Older.

As we roll into 2017, I'm one year closer to being fifty. I can't believe it. Regardless, due too eating to much between the hours of 1-3AM, which is apparently when I MUST HAVE CAKE, I started running last year. I love it. But, I only like running outside, and…