There’s no getting around it.
My son, the World’s Largest Eight Year Old, has infected me with a virulent form of the rhinovirus, which may or may not be a combination of the following diseases:
The Bubonic Plague
A Random Tropical Fever
These have combined for the following symptoms:
Producing more snot than my current body weight.
I write this as a farewell to you all, and only ask that you eat pie, waffles, and Oreo thins at my funeral.